Is It ADD or SASS?

John

18 years ago

A previously thought incommunicable condition is
spreading faster than bootlegged copies of David Archuleta's latest CD.
Perhaps you yourself have noticed some of the following symptoms:

Shifting in your seat and coughing just a little too loudly during a boring meeting.
Saying to your significant other, "I'm sorry, honey, could you repeat that? I wasn't paying attention."
Going to sleep while mentally rifling through a mile-long to-do list

Many
with these symptoms joke, "I must have ADD!" However, only 4 to 8
percent have the genetic condition referred to as ADD – more correctly
termed ADHD – which is present from birth and, while treatable, is
permanent. The dreaded disease of Short Attention Span Syndrome, or
SASS, on the other hand, develops over time.

Symptoms begin to appear around the teenage years and slowly accelerate
until they become a frenzy of activity and mental noise. SASS is viral.
It passes from manager to employee, from spouse to spouse, from parents
to children and from children to parents.

Most common is the passing of SASS from entrepreneurial types: business
owners, risk-tasking executives, sales professionals, visionaries.
These professionals develop SASS themselves, typically in the incubator
of their own ever-changing minds. While most everyone has a lot to do,
these professionals have the tendency to pick up a lot more "To-Dos"
than the average person. They then pass the virus on to those around
them.

Executives pass SASS to their employees in the form of altered
objectives, multitasking, bold initiatives, training meetings, revised
agendas, organizational restructuring, innovation after innovation, and
of course, more meetings. They pass it on, unable to listen to the
comments of others as they continue to create more to-dos in their mind.

Then they return to the quiet of their own homes and continue to think
about more changes and more To-Do's deep into the night. They are often
oblivious to the peas and carrots on their plate and the 8-year-old
wanting to play Bob the Builder.

There is hope. SASS is a curable condition. Those afflicted by SASS
usually have developed an altered sense of reality. Recommended therapy
is as follows:

First, have the subject look in a mirror.
Ask them, "How many of you are there?" Sometimes, the SASSy individual
thinks outside the box to the point that they insist there are two of
them. In this case, have them repeat 50 times the phrase, "There is
only one of me. There is only one of me."
Second, have the subject look at a clock.
At the beginning of a minute, ask the subject to count each second as
it passes. At the end of the minute, ask them how many seconds they
counted. If the number is anything other than 60, repeat this exercise
59 times. At the end of the hour, ask them how many minutes there were
in the hour. If necessary, repeat this exercise another 23 times and
ask them about hours in the day.
Finally, find the subject's calendar.
They may have more than one calendar. Explain to them that, since there
is only one timeline in the real world, they can only have only one
calendar. Next, look for double-bookings. Again, explain to them in a
firm but loving tone that, since there is only one of them, they can
only be in one place at a time. If travel time is not properly
scheduled, explain to them that, since faxing one's self has yet to be
invented, they should be sure to schedule some travel time.

There
is hope for the SASSy professional. With your help and the help of
productivity experts, they can and most often do come back to reality.

Satisfaction Guaranteed